FAQ
Below is a list of Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Am I gay, lesbian or bisexual?
A. We cant answer that one for you; its something that only you will know. Some people can define their sexuality at a young age and with certainty, for others they may not be sure until they are nearly adults. For others still, these categories of gay, lesbian, bisexual are too limiting and prefer to use the term "queer". If you have feelings of sexual attraction for someone of the same sex then you could be gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Q. What does queer mean?
A. Queer is a term used that covers a range of sexual and gender identities (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender)
Q. What does intersex mean?
A. Intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that does not seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. Terms such as VSD (Variations in Sexual Development) are sometimes used to replace intersex. The related term hermaphrodite was introduced in the nineteenth century and is used by some intersex people but is now considered problematic.
(http://www.education.tas.gov.au/school/health/inclusive/antidiscrimination/gender/glossary)
Q. Is transsexual the same as transgender?
A. Transgender refers to any gender variant person. It is a broad, relatively recent term referring to people whose gender identity or expression falls outside of stereotypical gender norms. This includes people who both identify as transgender and those who do not, but whom may be perceived by others as such. The term is sometimes used to describe 'the transgender community' as a whole. A transsexual is a person who identifies as a gender other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Some transsexual people undergo medical treatment to change their physical sex through hormone therapy and surgery (sex-reassignment surgery).
Transphobia is the irrational, persistent fear of those who are gender atypical to any degree. It is often accompanied by an inability to deal with gender ambiguity and discomfort with, or hostility towards, people who do not conform to stereotypical gender norms.
A cross dresser is a person who sometimes wears what social norms currently describe as clothes of the other gender. Cross-dressers want to appear as convincing as possible as their other selves. The term is generally preferred to the term transvestite.
Transitioning or affirming gender describes the process of adopting a lifestyle and / or bodily characteristics better corresponding to a person's gender identity. It may take some time, involve any number of social, legal or medical processes and may or may not involve surgery or therapy.
This information was sourced from: http://www.education.tas.gov.au/school/health/inclusive/antidiscrimination/gender/glossary
Q. My friend has just come out, how can I support them?
A. Finding out your friend is non-heterosexual could lead you to ask a few questions such as;
What do I do?
Do I understand?
Will people think Im gay because my friend is gay?
What do I say?
Are they a different person now that I know?
Will they try to hook up with me?
After your friend has come out to you, all you have to understand is that your friend may need and want you around for support. They are sharing with you personal information that they are probably hoping you will be able to accept.
Also, not all same-sex attracted people feel they need support. They may feel confident and secure about who they are. Your friend may have just wanted to stop hiding their true self from you. There are no special rules to know or guidelines to follow when being a friend. But remember, your friend thinks highly enough of you to come out to you, so maybe a good start would be telling them thank you for the trust.
If a friend does need a supportive person around, sometimes just listening is all that you may need to do.
This information was sourced from the My friend is Gay booklet produced by Monash City Youth Services, available to download on our further info page
Q. My son/daughter has just come out, how can I support them?
A. Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians (PFLAG) is a great resource for parents whose child has just come out. There is a list of FAQs on their website specifically aimed at the types of questions parents typically have. Go to www.pflagaustralia.org.au
Q. I think my friend or family member might be same-sex attracted, what should I say to them?
A. Its great that you want to be ready to support them should they need it, however you shouldnt push them into coming out. It might be good to reflect on why you think they might be same-sex attracted are you stereotyping them?
The best support person you can be is to let them know through your words and/or actions that you are welcoming of GLBTI people and that you support the rights and opportunities of GLBTI people. If you want to know how to do so, look up our homophobia page for some tips! That way they will know that you are approachable if they are considering coming out to you.
Q. Coming Out?
A. Coming out means different things to different people. It usually has to do with being more aware about same-sex attractions which often lead to being open with others about sexual identity. People can be out in some parts of their lives but not others, whilst some people choose not to come out and others just dont. (SSAFE)
The choice to come out is entirely up to you. You shouldnt feel pressured to fess up to your sexuality. There maybe some real risks for you in coming out, such as being rejected by friends and family or being kicked out of home. However you will find great advantages in feeling the freedom to be yourself and open with the people that you love.
Q. Is it a choice?
A. GLBTI people dont choose their feelings of sexual attraction, just as heterosexual people dont choose theirs. All of us become aware of our feelings of attraction as we grow, whether those feelings are for someone of the same gender, the opposite gender, or both genders.
(Marcus, E, 1999, Is it a choice? Harper Collins, San Francisco USA)
Q. What is homophobia?
A. See our homophobia page
Q. What does same-sex attracted mean?
A. Sometimes this term is used instead of gay, lesbian or bisexual. Same sex attracted refers to people who are romantically or sexually attracted to people of the same gender as they are. It includes gay, lesbian and bisexual people but the term same sex attracted describes a person who is attracted to rather than how they label themselves.
(Kaleidoscope Resource Manual)
Q. What is a gay-straight alliance?
A. A gay-straight alliance is typically a social change group. Our aim is to empower young people to challenge homophobia in their schools and/or local community. There are a number of different models of gay-straight alliances happening all over the world. The USA has a well established school based model that you can learn more about at: www.gsanetwork.org
Here in Victoria there is the Way Out group in Kyneton: www.wayout.org.au who have focused their efforts on publicity campaigns with posters, stickers, banners and news stories. A gay-straight alliance model means that participants dont have to identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex or straight to be involved.
Q. What is the viewpoint of different religions?
A. Within almost every religion there is a growing number of people who are reconciling their worship to welcome and affirm people of all sexual orientations. The information below examines some of the teachings of the traditional religious views. These may vary from one denomination to the next. Most denominations also have groups for gay and lesbian members, although the leaders of the faith may not sanction many of these groups.
Q. What is the viewpoint of Christianity?
A. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, Christianity is by far the most practiced religion in Australia. Christianity is further divided by many denominations such as Anglican, Catholic and the Uniting Church and many smaller sects and denominations.
Within the Christian church there exists a wide diversity of opinions on the question of homosexuality. While nearly all agree with the need to accept homosexual persons, there is no agreement regarding how to regard homosexual behaviour - what is its moral status, or place in the "order of creation"?
Church bodies also differ. Since 1972 the United Church of Christ in the U.S. has ordained sexually active lesbians and gays, as has the New York Diocese of the U.S. Episcopal Church. Official reports of the U.S. Presbyterians and Methodists, the Anglican Church in Canada and England has recommended the same. An official report of the British Council of Churches reached a unanimous view in favour of the ordination of (male) homosexuals - but could not agree on the ordination of women! The Religious Society of Friends (The Quakers) was the first Christian organisation to openly welcome male and female homosexuals.
What this shows is that when it comes to reflecting Biblically on the issue of homosexuality, there is no easy consensus. Not only do we come to the issue from varying standpoints but we also bring different ways of interpreting Scriptures. Some of these differences are fundamental and reflect divisions within the churches. It is, therefore, important to respect these differences. We may, for instance, believe that someone is not interpreting scripture correctly, but the fact is that is where they stand at that point of time. Although it is important to listen to their point of view, we do not have to agree.
One thing is clear; the Bible is not a kind of rulebook we can consult when we want a ruling on an issue like homosexuality. For this reason dependence for insight on selected texts alone ignores the fact that the Bible is to be read as a whole.
Also the Bible has been traditionally interpreted from a heterosexual bias. That is, interpreters have assumed heterosexuality is the norm. Asian Christians complain that the Bible has also been interpreted from the bias of white Europeans. They now read the Bible from their own situation.
Does this mean that homosexual Christians may see the Bible with different perspectives?
Q. What is the viewpoint of Islam?
A. There is no doubt that in Islam homosexuality is considered 'sinful'. Homosexuality as far as Islam is concerned is a profound mistake (as are all sins if they are not intending to do wrong). Islam believes that humans are not homosexual by nature and that people become homosexuals because of their environments.
Q. What is the viewpoint of Buddhism?
A. There are many schools of Buddhism, such as Zen or Tibetan. Overall Buddhism does not condemn homosexuality. Buddhist countries also tend to have few social and legal prohibitions against homosexuality. Some, such as Thailand, are relatively free of homophobia.
The Dalai Lama, the most respected leader of a Buddhist sect, is ambiguous on the subject of homosexuality. All in all, Buddhism has been more gay-friendly than the major Western faiths. As homosexuality is not explicitly mentioned in any of the Buddha's discourses (more than 20 volumes in the Pali Text Societys English translation), we can only assume that it is meant to be evaluated in the same way that heterosexuality is. And indeed this may be why it is not specifically mentioned.
In the case of a man and woman where there is mutual consent, where adultery is not involved and where the sexual act is an expression of love, respect, loyalty and warmth, it would not be breaking one of the Precepts. And it is the same when two people are of the same gender. All the principles we would use to evaluate a heterosexual relationship we would also use to evaluate a homosexual one. In Buddhism we could say that it is not the object of ones sexual desire that determines whether a sexual act is morally right or not, but rather the quality of the emotions and intentions involved.
However, the Buddha sometimes advised against certain behaviour not because it is wrong from the point of view of ethics but because it would put one at odds with social norms or because it is subject to legal sanctions. In these cases, the Buddha says that refraining from such behaviour will free one from the anxiety and embarrassment caused by social disapproval or the fear of punitive action. Homosexuality would certainly come under this type of behaviour. In this case, the homosexual has to decide whether she or he is going to acquiesce to what society expects or to try to change public attitudes.
Buddhist countries like Sri Lanka and Burma had no legal statutes against homosexuality between consenting adults until the colonial era when the British introduced them. Thailand, which had no colonial experience, still has no such laws. This led some Western homosexuals to believe that homosexuality is quite accepted in Buddhist countries of South and South-east Asia. This is certainly not true. In such countries, when homosexuals are thought of at all, it is more likely to be in a good-humoured way or with a degree of pity. Certainly the social challenges that the Western homosexual has so often had to endure is absent and this is due, to a very large degree, to Buddhisms humane and tolerant influence.
Q. What is the viewpoint of Judaism?
A. Judaism is a very diverse religion and ethnicity for millions of people all over the world. It is impossible to find two Jewish (or any kind of) people who completely agree on this controversial subject. Because Jewish congregations vary so widely in questions of doctrine and policy, there is no single definitive Jewish policy regarding homosexuality.
Orthodox Jews generally take a severe view, regarding homosexual behaviour as an abomination that is forbidden by the Torah, or the Old Testament of the Christian Bible. Conservative Jews voted in 1990 to recognize the equality of congregation members regardless of sexual orientation. They also went on record as favouring the decriminalisation of homosexual activities between consenting adults, and the passage of laws that prohibit discrimination against gays and lesbians. They support equal rights for homosexuals and gays and lesbians are welcomed at synagogues.
Reconstructionist Jews: The Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association has sponsored, for many years, rabbis who chose to perform same-sex commitment ceremonies.
Reform Jews: In 1990, the Central Conference of American Rabbis accepted gay and lesbian rabbis. They do not currently discriminate on the basis of either gender or sexual orientation when ordaining rabbis. In March 1996, they voted to support same-sex civil marriages and to oppose state government efforts to ban such unions. In practice, Reform rabbis are divided on whether to perform same-sex commitment ceremonies.
In an excerpt of a brochure, the New York Federation of Reformed Synagogues discusses that the Torah is not homophobic, but that the three laws are outlawing homosexual acts. They believe that at the time the Bible was written, it was not understood that homosexual acts could be consensual and part of a loving relationship. This piece of writing is an excellent example of many such writings by reform and some conservative Jews who wish to include gay and lesbian people in Judaism, and interpret the Torah to make this possible. However, there are other people, who believe that the Torah clearly states that sodomy or homosexual acts are wrong, and that it should not be promoted or sponsored. It is interesting to note that the Bible does not outlaw sexual relations between two women. It is unclear as to why, because the Torah does not promote lesbianism either.
This information was sourced from Dayenu- Sydney's Jewish gay & lesbian support and social group ©
Q. What is the viewpoint of Hinduism?
A. The Hindu stance on the issue of homosexuality is not clear. There is conflict in the Hindu scriptures.
The first and foremost injunction in the Bhagavad Gita is that all of us are individual souls who are eternal. Thus, we are not our bodies. To actually come to this realisation, we must act in accordance with our true nature.
That is as spirit souls. Therefore, any action that is based on gratifying the senses of this temporary body will drag us further into the illusion that we are this body.
Another scripture, the Manusmriti does not accept homosexuality. Here, homosexuality was shown as punishable by monetary fines, whipping and even loss of caste. In certain cases, a woman could have her head shaved; two fingers cut off and be paraded on a donkey.
Kama Sutra writer, Vatsayana, says that homosexuality was accepted and allowed by the teachings. Moreover, upper caste Hindus and Muslim rulers supposedly practiced homosexuality during the Muslim period in India.
In general, homosexuality is not talked about openly. Of course, even the topic of sex has become taboo over the centuries. At one time, however, the reliefs on temples depicted sexual acts openly.
As a result of the taboo, it is hard to make any assumption about the ideas of the grassroots Hindu.
The best that can be said is: homosexuality is most likely not viewed as correct but perhaps tolerated. However, the new generation growing up in India is adopting a lot of Western ideas for good or for bad and many of the new generation are more tolerant towards homosexuality.
Q. What does it say in the Bible about Homosexuality?
A. When it comes to reflecting biblically on the issue of homosexuality, there is no easy consensus. Not only do we come to the issue from varying standpoints but we also bring different ways of interpreting scripture. Some of these differences are fundamental and reflect other divisions within the church. It is, therefore, important to respect these differences. We may, for instance, believe that someone is not interpreting scripture correctly, but the fact that is where they stand at that point of time. Although it is important to listen to their point of view, we do not have to disagree.
We believe it is unfortunate that there is a point of view that says to those who "take a softer view of homosexuality argue that while the words of Scripture are always to be taken into account, we are not necessarily bound by them." This completely misunderstands the issue. As Christians we do not have the option of not being "bound by" scripture. The real question is how we go about interpreting scripture.
One thing is clear; the Bible is not a kind of rule book we can consult when we want a ruling on an issue like homosexuality. For this reason, dependence for insight on selected texts alone ignores the fact that the Bible is to be read as whole.
We suggest three things that need to be considered if we are to do justice to scripture and the issue of homosexuality:
1. By all means reflect carefully on the passages that appear to address the issue of homosexuality. We are aware that even in this textual study there is still much that is unclear;
2. We need to reflect on those passages within the context of their time. In other words, what did the text mean in the writer's situation - and then what does it mean in our modern world For example, when the writer of Timothy (2: 11- 12) said that women are to keep silent in church and are forbidden to teach, such an exhortation reflected the particular status of women in society at the time, of being inferior in authority to men. Today we interpret this differently perhaps as a general call for humility and reverence in worship;
3. t means also that we must interpret the text in the light of the whole Gospel. Scripture itself is used to interpret scripture. This is certainly the framework in which Scripture is written. For example, from the time of the exodus throughout the Old Testament and culminating in Jesus, there is a strong theme of identification with marginal people such as tax-gatherers, harlots and the poor. It is clear that God sides with the powerless, suffers with the suffering and liberates those who are oppressed. In the end, therefore, Scripture must be interpreted in the light of Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh.
All the above sections pertaining to religion were sourced from the gay and lesbian counselling service of NSW: www.glcsnsw.org.au/questions
Q. What can I do to reduce homophobia?
A. See our homophobia page or post your ideas on ‘the wall’ or on our myspace page
Q. Does safe sex matter if you’re in a same-sex relationship?
A. In a word, YES! You are still at just as much risk of contracting STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infections) as you would be in a heterosexual relationship. See our information on safe sex under the ‘your health’ page for more information.
Q. I have a question that hasn’t been listed above…
A. You can ask us through posting it on ‘the wall’ our myspace page (www.myspace.com/kaleidoscope) or by sending us an email info@kaleidoscopegsa.com.au
|
